


Bright Red Letters

by ffairyy



Category: GOT7
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Markjin, Pining, they're super awkward and obvious, youngjae ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8547394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffairyy/pseuds/ffairyy
Summary: Got7 have a week of teamwork training and Mark tries his best to keep his big ugly crush on Jinyoung a secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [JinyoungFicFest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JinyoungFicFest) collection. 



> So I tried my best to fulfill the prompt, but I had already started writing before I realized I should've probably written it from Jinyoung's POV... so I'm sorry about that ooooppss.  
> Anyway have disgustingly fluffy markjin :P

**Prompt:**  
HOW ABOUT shy and awkward Jinyoung falling for equally shy and awkward Mark and Mark likes him back and they're so obvious but they're both completely unaware of each other's feelings and the rest of the band are super annoyed and this goes on for the longest time and it's all just really fluffy and PINING LOTS OF PINING

 

* * *

 

  
**  
MONDAY**  
  
In his 3.5 years as a trainee, nobody ever prepared Mark for this.  
He had learned how to dance, how to rap and how to look good 24 hours of the day. He’d learned to interact with fans and other idols and with interviewers and annoying variety show hosts.  
 He’d learned to write and speak Korean and how to make his martial arts look like he was light as a feather and not bound to the rules of gravity.  
But nobody had ever felt the need to tell him what to do if he found himself falling in love with one of his band mates.  
  
And falling in love with Jinyoung happened so naturally, he didn’t even notice it at first.  
His feelings had blossomed so secretly, without even letting him know.  
He had always been close to Jinyoung.  
When they met they had connected right away, the language barrier seemingly no huge problem.  
And they became the best of friends over the years and even after they finally debuted together with Got7, Mark didn’t realize the whole severity of this tragedy yet.  
  
He had always loved talking to Jinyoung, but when had it become his favorite thing in the whole wide world?  
Before he knew it he looked forward to every single minute with him and before he knew what was happening, he started missing him after they said good night in the evening.  
He always liked listening to Jinyoung’s voice, but when had his voice become the first thing he thought of when he woke up in the morning?  
And sometimes when he just listened to him laugh during the day, he felt the butterflies waking up in his stomach.  
 When did those get in there?  
  
Before he knew what was happening, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jinyoung and at some point he understood that it was more than just brotherly love for a friend.  
It was completely different.  
  
And loving Jinyoung was fluid.  
The feelings Mark got when he was around flowed through his body like spring water.  
Whenever Jinyoung stood too close or took the skinship for the fans too far, Mark felt the love flowing through all of his cells and sometimes he was afraid to speak in front of him, because what if those feelings just flowed out of his mouth? Disguised as words?  
  
Whenever  Jinyoung rested his head on Mark’s shoulder as if it was the most normal thing to do, Mark begged the universe to stop time for a few minutes so he could get his feelings under control and so Jinyoung wouldn’t hear his heart racing.  
  
The problem was that he was so easy to love. Jinyoung didn’t even know it, but he made it so easy to fall for him.  
And it wasn’t about his dark hair and his even darker eyes or about the way he charmed people when he talked.  
Mark loved those things, but he fell in love with so much more.  
Like how Jinyoung was patient when Mark talked and how he listened and gave him his whole attention. How he made people feel like what they said matters.  
Or the way he got frustrated so easily when something didn’t go like he imagined it.  
It was adorable.  
  
And how sometimes, when he thought nobody was looking, he smiled at the boys like they were his whole world.  
And Mark felt that stupid little spark of jealousy light up in his stomach, because he wanted Jinyoung to look at him like that.  
  
Mark could handle it.  
It wasn’t like he had any other option. He had perfected the art of bottling feelings up and living with the faint anxiety that the dam might break one day.  
But it never really did.  
And he settled for longing glances and for ignoring the butterflies that got so excited whenever Jinyoung did something.  
 Like breathing… that was pretty phenomenal in Mark’s opinion.

  
  
Got7 didn’t have a massive schedule at the moment. They spent their days in the dorm and at JYPE and while they did plan a comeback, it was still just a vague concept somewhere in the future.  
Ahead of them was a week of teamwork practice.  
And Mark looked forward to it.  
It meant being with his band for a week, but without the pressure of actual practice and lately they’ve been more harmonic than ever.  
Well, most of them.  
Mark wasn’t sure if it was just his love-blind imagination, but Jinyoung felt distant. Not generally… but to Mark.  
There was this weird tension between them that he just couldn’t really pinpoint.  
They talked less. And it was different when they did.  
Did Jinyoung avoid him or did Mark just miss him every waking minute that he wasn’t there with him?  
  
Mark liked teamwork games. They were silly, but fun. And everyone in their little group knew their roles and their assignments.

  
  
So when they all gathered together in the practice room on Monday, the mood was good.  
Yugyeom stood in the middle of the room, showing Bambam some new dance moves he learned and Bambam was copying them lazily.  
It was so obvious that he did this for Yugyeom in the first place.  
  
After over two years in this band Mark could read every single one of the boys like open books.  
He knew when Jaebum was too tired to take on the leader role and he knew when Jackson went over his own limits to keep the mood up. He could tell when Youngjae needed some time to himself and he could tell when Bambam felt the weight of the whole world on his shoulders again.  
And it was so obvious when Yugyeom needed some love and attention and how he always knew how to get it.  
But when he looked at Jinyoung his vision got unclear.  
  
Jinyoung sat on the floor and listened to music by himself. Jackson and Jaebum sat spread out on the big leather sofa next to Mark, and Youngjae looked through the music library on the laptop.  
  
Then their manager came in.  
They had done this at least twice a year and their manager had been in charge every time.  
You didn’t have to be a genius to see that he didn’t want to be there to entertain them.  
  
“Let’s sit down in a circle…” he sighed and shooed the boys together until they all sat in a circle in the middle of the practice room.  
Jinyoung right across from Mark. Mark just looked at the floor instead.

“Here we are again, another teamwork training,” their manager said, “I found a bunch of new games for you… you’re gonna record everything you do, like usually… and I’ll be back in three hours.”  
  
“Wait…where are you going?” Jackson exclaimed.  
  
“I, uh, have an important meeting,” he said while standing up. He turned around, but he couldn’t hide the pink blush on his face from the boys.  
  
“A meeting?” Jaebum probed into it, “Where? Or should I ask ‘with whom’?”  
  
“That’s none of your business…”  
  
“It’s a date, isn’t it?” Jaebum looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Jaebum could look through people like they were made out of glass and their manager wasn’t an exception.  
He didn’t answer.  
  
“I can’t believe it,” Youngjae whined, “We have to work while you’re on a date?”  
  
“It’s really just a bunch of games…,” he hurried to say, “I’ll be back in three hours!”  
  
And with that he turned around and fled the room.  
  
  
“Incredible.” Jinyoung huffed and Mark felt it in his bones like a wakeup call.  
  
Jaebum looked through the bunch of papers that their manager had given them and hummed now and then.  
  
“Okay,” he said, “let’s get this over with.”  
  
He read the instructions from the first paper and didn’t sound exactly enthusiastic, but Jaebum wasn’t one to complain about an obligation.  
The first one was a classic.  
The Gordian knot.  
The boys knew it by now, so they just stood up and Youngjae set up the camera. It wasn’t even for the fans, but for their manager to see that they didn’t just sit around. And maybe for them to watch it later and see how they worked together and what they could improve.  
It was also supposed to reveal frictions in their little group, so they could work on them consciously and all together.  
  
“Okay, let’s take the time,” Jaebum announced.  
  
They all stood in a circle and then Jaebum instructed, “Close your eyes and put your hands in the middle…”  
  
But they already knew how it worked, so they all closed their eyes and put their hands in the middle. Bambam sighed dramatically, as if he was too old for stuff like this, but Yugyeom giggled and Mark couldn’t help but grin.  
He remembered doing these kinds of games when he was in middle school and now he was 23 and still doing them, but in a completely different country, with completely different people, in a completely different context.  
  
He had to smile because he felt silly.  
And also vulnerable with closed eyes. It happened automatically when he opened them to steal a quick glance at Jinyoung, who stood opposite of him.  
All the hands were already searching for others to hold and Mark’s heart was racing when he squinted through his barely opened eyes and wanted to take Jinyoung’s hand.  
But Jinyoung had found two hands already. One of Jaebum and one of Jackson.  
So Mark closed his eyes and swallowed down the disappointment while he searched blindly for two hands to hold.  
  
“Is everyone done?” Jackson asked and all of them hummed yes.  
  
So they opened their eyes again and found themselves in a huge knot of hands and arms and Youngjae just laughed out loud at the view.  
  
“Okay,” Jaebum said, “Let’s start over here…”  
  
They started to turn a little and there were people ducking under arms and Yugyeom squatted down so Bambam could climb over his arm and it was a mess.  
But they all held onto each other tightly. Nobody ever loosened the band.  
  
After about 1.5 minutes Mark watched how Jinyoung smoothly slipped under Jaebum’s arms and the knot was opened.  
They stood in a circle, still holding hands, but not tangled anymore.  
  
“Time stop,” Jackson announced and stopped the time on his phone.  They let go of each other.  
  
“That was easy,” Bambam said, but he looked a tiny bit proud.  
  
“Then let’s do the next one.”

They spent the next hour with similar games and Mark couldn’t help but watch Jinyoung the whole time.  
He seemed quieter than usually. But he also laughed now and then and changed a few words with Bambam or Jackson.  
His eyes met Mark’s once and he imagined seeing insecurity in them. Had Mark done something wrong?

  
  
During a self imposed lunch break Youngjae and Mark went to the kiosk near the center to get some snacks.  
They went down the streets lazily and Mark just looked at his phone. Not that there was anything interesting to see.

“Did you and Jinyoung stay up late again?” Youngjae suddenly asked.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I heard him talking with someone… wasn’t that you?”  
  
There was a weird feeling in Mark’s stomach, as if someone started to stir the fluids in him.  
  
“No. I fell asleep early.”  
  
“Oh okay,” Youngjae hummed, “So you still haven’t told him?”  
  
Mark looked at Youngjae warily. He nearly stopped walking, but forced himself not to look too affected. He didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking.  
  
“Told him what?”  
  
“That you like him…” Youngjae smiled a little, but it wasn’t to make fun of Mark.  
He knew it wasn’t.  
Still.  
The sick feeling in his gut was back. Accompanied by a racing heart.  
  
“I-uh,” he stuttered, “of course I like him, he’s one of my best friends and-“  
  
“Hyung,” Youngjae sighed, “You know what I mean…Everyone knows you’ve got it bad for him…”  
  
Now Mark did stop walking. And he turned around to check if somebody was listening, even though they were alone in the little side street.  
  
“I…it’s nothing serious,” Mark mumbled, “it’s just...he’s just so…but he doesn’t know, right?”  
  
“How should I know?” Youngjae said.  
  
They reached the shop and while Youngjae decided which snacks they would buy, Mark tried to ignore his nerves and all the boiling questions swirling around in his head.  
Like.  
What if Jinyoung knew? Was it that obvious?  
Did he avoid him because he knew?  
  
They walked back without talking.  
Youngjae hummed a song that he had been recording a week ago and Mark bit his lips nervously.  
  
When they arrived at the front door of the JYP Entertainment, Mark held Youngjae back by grabbing his sleeve.  
  
“Youngjae,” he hissed, “You won’t tell him, right?”  
  
“Of course not.” Youngjae rolled his eyes. “But you should really do something about it.”  
  
And before Mark could ask what the hell he should do about it or any of the other questions that were eager to get out, Youngjae walked into the building.  
Mark just followed him.  
And he had thought standing in the circle with his eyes closed had made him feel vulnerable.  
Now this was a whole new level of insecurity.

  
  
The next two hours he couldn’t stop thinking about Youngjae’s words.  
  
_Everybody knows.  
_  
How could he just say it like that? Surely not everybody knew. Mark had been convinced he was doing a good job at hiding his little crush, but now he felt like it was painted onto his forehead.  
In bright red letters.  
“A FOOL FOR JINYOUNG”  
“Hopelessly crushing on his bandmate”  
“In love with a straight guy”  
Or something along those lines.  
He felt like everyone could see it and if everyone could see it why wouldn’t Jinyoung be able to see it, too?  
Maybe that’s why he didn’t look at him lately.  
  
The next two hours went by quicker than Mark had imagined. He felt like his head was an unhealthy shade of red most of the time and when Jinyoung and him were paired up to stand back to back for a game, he swore Jinyoung could feel his heartbeat because it was hammering in his chest like crazy.  
  
They had to balance a balloon between their backs while doing a little parkour and it would’ve been an easy task with anyone else, but somehow they managed to lose the balloon five times in just the first round and whenever Mark put it back between their backs, his hands were so sweaty that he nearly lost it again.

Jinyoung mumbled an awkward “Good job, Hyung” afterwards and Mark felt the heat stream back into his head. His voice always went right into his bones. That’s not where words are supposed to go.

While Jackson and Jaebum started their round, Youngjae looked at Mark with a raised eyebrow and an expression that basically said, 'You’re not very good at hiding this.'  
And Mark wondered if he could maybe become one with the cushion beneath him if he tried hard enough.  
  
When their manager finally came back, he congratulated them and didn’t even look at the video. Mark assumed it wasn’t that much because he trusted them and more because he didn’t care. He seemed to be in a giddy mood and Jackson convinced him to skip the analysis of the games that day.  
  
So they were allowed to go back to the dorm earlier.  
  
When Mark stood in the shower, he couldn’t stop thinking.  
Thinking of Youngjae’s words.  
Of  'everybody knows' and of the bright red letters on his forehead.

But mostly about Jinyoung standing back to back with him and how their hands touched when they both tried to adjust the balloon at the same time.  
  
He remembered that there would be four more days like this one, the tasks probably becoming more difficult every day.  
And then he thought about Jinyoung again and about “Good job, Hyung.”  
And about Jinyoung Jinyoung Jinyoung.  
  
And he tried so hard not to think of him when he started touching himself, but honestly- what kind of mission impossible would that be?  
He just feared that there would be more letters added to his forehead when he stepped out of the bathroom.  
“Jerks of to fantasies of his bandmate” for example.  
  
**  
TUESDAY**

Mark was the first one to wake up the next day.  
So he took his time making coffee and he was absentmindedly staring at two boxes of cornflakes in front of him, trying to keep his eyes open.  
  
He decided on the chocolate crisps even though the whole-grain ones would have been healthier.  
And it had something so normal and domestic to sit in their little kitchen and to eat those cornflakes while looking at pictures on his phone.  
Mostly Instagram.  
And his sleepy mind didn’t even realize that he had typed in Jinyoung’s name into the search box. But he spent at least ten minutes scrolling down and looking at every single picture of Jinyoung, the bad ones and the illegally good ones.  
  
When he heard a door getting opened and footsteps coming closer, he quickly closed the app and tried to get the stupid grin off his face.  
Nobody should be grinning like this at 8am.  
  
So he had his face under control again when Jinyoung walked in through the door and Mark didn’t know what he did to be tortured like this.  
  
Jinyoung wasn’t one to get out of bed voluntarily. But there he was, smiling sheepishly at Mark, his hair a black mess that could as well have been a bird’s nest and his eyelids still heavy.  
 The sleep still in his body.  
Mark wondered what Jinyoung had dreamt.  
Maybe if he looked a little harder he could see traces of his dreams around him in the air?  
 It wouldn’t surprise him to see a glimmering aura around this boy. It wouldn’t surprise him at all.  
Jinyoung was made for magical bullshit like that.  
  
“Mornin,” Jinyoung mumbled in that raspy morning voice of his that Mark would never ever get used to and he woke up all the butterflies in Mark’s tummy with the sound.  
Rude.  
  
“Morning,” Mark tried to smile back and he prayed that he wasn’t turning red, but Jinyoung was still half asleep anyway. He just walked through the kitchen and it was clear that his destination was the coffee jug that waited for him on the counter. He looked a little bit like a zombie, but Mark didn’t mind. Jinyoung would be the most adorable zombie in the whole wide world.  
  
And then he watched him fishing his favorite mug out of the cupboard and had to control another dumb smile that tried to take over his face.  
He really needed to delete this embarrassing crush off his face. Mark wondered if there was a key combination for that or a tutorial on YouTube.  
ctrl + alt + delete crush.  
  
So they sat together and ate in silence. Mark held his phone as an alibi and had a stupid game opened and he just tapped the screen while he secretly looked over to Jinyoung. Way too often.  
Jinyoung had a book in his hand and for a brief moment Mark wondered what it would be like to go over and give him a good morning kiss.  
Or twenty.  
  
“Your cereal is getting soggy,” Jinyoung said. And Mark felt caught when their eyes met.  
  
“Yeah,” he said stupidly. “What are you reading?”  
  
Now it was Jinyoung who looked like a little kid that had been caught in a lie.  
  
“Uhm, Jostein Gaarder,” he mumbled, “but I can’t really concentrate on it anyway.”

So he laid the book aside and Mark heard Youngjae’s words echo in his head.  
_You really need to do something about this._  
But what?  
Tell Jinyoung that he looks like the most adorable zombie in all land? Or that he thought a glimmering aura would look good on him?  
 Mark wasn’t exactly good at giving compliments and he still hadn’t figured out how flirting really works and even if he knew that stuff- it wasn’t like it would change anything.  
Jinyoung could never know about any of this. About the butterfly rave in his stomach.  
  
“Hyung,” Jinyoung tore him out of his thoughts and his heart was beating faster just at the sound of his name. His name sounded so sweet when Jinyoung said it.  
Mark wanted to hear it again and ideally also check if it tasted just as sweet on Jinyoung’s tongue.  
You know- for science.

Jinyoung still hadn’t continued his sentence.  
  
“Yeah?” Mark said.  
  
“Uh, I was just thinking, uhm...” he didn’t look at Mark, but played with his little self-made bookmark in his hand. A little yellow autumn leaf in laminate.  
See?  
Where’s the proof that he isn’t dome kind of forest fairy?  
“I just wondered,” he stammered around, but then his eyes glanced up to meet Mark’s again and he shook his head, “Never mind.”  
  
“What is it?” Mark wanted to know. He couldn’t help but glance down to Jinyoung’s lips. To watch them move while he spoke.  
  
“I just thought this is nice,” Jinyoung said, “We haven’t spent time together in forever.”  
  
Mark’s heart made a little summersault and he forced himself not to grin at Jinyoung’s words. It didn’t matter what the hell his words meant when they sounded so good and when his lips looked so pretty while speaking them.  
  
“We’re together all the time,” Mark said.  
  
There were footsteps in the dorm again, but Mark ignored them. He looked at Jinyoung and wondered why the tension hadn’t electrocuted him yet.  
  
“I mean,” Jinyoung said and his cheeks got a bit rosy, “just the two of us…”  
  
Mark wanted to scream yes into his face. The biggest, fattest Yes in history of all the yeses, but he just opened his mouth and his whole body forgot how do produce sounds. His pulse sounded through his body as if his heart wanted to make sure the whole dorm could hear it.  
  
“Should I come back later?” A voice startled him and Jinyoung looked to the door quickly. Jackson was standing there, in his sleep clothes, his hair ruffled up and his grin way too smug.  
“I don’t wanna interrupt anything.”  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Jinyoung said quickly and stood up, “want some coffee? I uh, am going to shower….”

Then he fled the kitchen and Mark watched him helplessly and sighed out when he sat there alone with Jackson.  
They stayed silent for a moment, and then Jackson clicked his tongue.  
  
“Looking forward to teamwork today?” Jackson said with a raised eyebrow and looked at Mark as if he was a hopeless case, “I bet that’s not gonna be awkward at all.”

But Mark didn’t listen.  
  
He just repeated Jinyoung’s words over and over in his head and the big fat Yes was still stuck in his throat.

Just the two of us.  
  
-  
  
A 2pm their teamwork training started again. This time their manager stayed with them for an hour and then just sat around in the common room because the boys didn’t seem to need help and because Jaebum just took over the leadership.  
It was easier like this anyway.  
  
And they did the same guardian knot game again in the beginning and a few other simpler ones.  
But then after 1.5 hours Jaebum explained that the next game would be more of a mental practice and Mark wondered if he could maybe fake a headache in the last minute because there was nothing he hated more than wordplays or improvising or anything that had to do with talking.  
But before he tried anything to get out of it, he found himself sitting in a circle with his bandmates and Jaebum had a ball of cord in his hand.  
  
“We’re gonna tell a story and we’re gonna do it as quick as possible. I will start and whoever I throw the ball to will continue.”  
  
“And for how long?” Bambam whined, similarly annoyed by the thought of getting creative.  
  
“Uhm,“ Jaebum looked at his watch, “let’s say… five minutes?”  
  
And he started and Mark wanted to act like he wasn’t concentrating so maybe he wouldn’t have to contribute much, but Jaebum didn’t even let him finish that thought, because he already looked at him with a little nod, while he started the story.  
  
“This is a story about a girl who is in love with a boy and that boy…”  
  
Jaebum threw the ball to Mark and that one clumsily caught it, his heart already racing, his glance flying between the other boys who looked at him.

“…is all she can think about…” Mark mumbled and he didn’t do it intentionally when he glanced over to Jinyoung who took it as a sign and put his hands up. So Mark threw it to him and it felt like getting rid of a grenade in his hands.  
  
“Uhm, they go to watch a movie together…” Jinyoung said and threw the ball to Yugyeom and that one had trouble catching it and grinned when he added,  
  
“A romantic movie with that one actor in it…what’s his name…-“  
  
“who cares,” Jackson interrupted and Yugyeom glared at him.  
  
“Fine,” he muffled, “let’s not make it interesting then…”  
  
“Throw the ball,” Jaebum sighed and Yugyeom just gave it to Bambam who sat right next to him.  
  
“Anyway…,” Bambam continued, “it starts off as a romantic movie, but then it turns into a zombie apocalypse and everybody dies.”  
  
Yugyeom started laughing and high fived Bambam as if he was a genius.  
Bambam threw the bundle to Youngjae, who was already looking at Mark with a suspicious hint of a smile on his face.  
  
“After the movie they go to a restaurant together and the girl thinks this is the perfect time to confess…”  
  
Mark caught the ball and he imagined hearing a ticking noise in it, and he knew exactly what Youngjae wanted to hear, but Mark already felt like his head was boiling and he vigorously thought about something non-cheesy to say.  
  
“Uhm…to confess that…. Uh… she didn’t like zombies,” he stuttered and saw Youngjae rolling his eyes, but then he added, “but that she kinda liked him.”  
  
Bambam made a gagging noise, but Jackson screeched a high pitch “Awww cute!” and Mark couldn't stop his hands from throwing the ball at Jinyoung again.  
With too much power. Right into Jinyoung's face.  
  
Quickly followed by the laughter of the boys.  
When he looked again he saw Jinyoung smiling awkwardly and rubbing his forehead.  
  
“Right in the face, Hyung…thank you.”  
And Mark had the urge to run out of the room, but instead he mumbled a quiet “’m sorry” and Jaebum decided to end the round with that.  
  
“Well… that was… certainly something,” he said, looking at his boys as if they were a hopeless mess, but at least they were his hopeless mess.  
“Let’s take a quick break and meet here again in 15 minutes.”  
  
Jackson and Jinyoung were forced to go to the kiosk this time, so Mark just lay down on the sofa in the practice room as if he had ran a marathon.  
Youngjae joined him.  
  
He just grumbled into a cushion and heard Youngjae laugh and flop down onto the couch, sitting half on Mark.  
  
„Was that a secret flirting method I don’t know about?“ Youngjae said, “Throwing stuff in his face?”  
  
“Youngjae,” Mark jerked up panicky, “would you please stop talking about this so loudly?”  
  
“He’s not even here, Hyung… relax.”  
  
“But Bambam is here and Yugyeom and Jaebum, oh god what if Jaebum finds out?! Jinyoung is like his little brother… he’s gonna kill me!”  
  
“I’m pretty sure he knows…” Youngjae said calmly, while taking a bite of a chocolate bar, readjusting where he sat half on Mark’s back.  
  
“Are you kidding me?” Mark screeched into the cushion and concentrated on calming his nerves down for a moment.   

“Why don’t you try telling him?”  
  
“Jaebum?”  
  
“No…,” he sighed, “Jinyoung. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”  
  
Mark let a tortured noise escape his throat and then- his voice barely audible- he whined.  
“I’m already telling him every day.”  
  
Youngjae’s voice got softer.  
“Then try it with words, Hyung…”  
  
He pinched Mark’s side and when Mark looked at him frustrated, he gave him the rest of the chocolate bar and Mark started munching on it. It was comforting to have Youngjae by his side.  
To have him here, supporting him and being his open minded self. It was also scary that he knew. That apparently not only he knew.  
That the letters on his forehead might be brighter than he had thought.

The thing about being in love with a straight guy was that Mark knew his heart was about to break, but he just didn’t quite dare to make the final step. To let it break. Like when you start ripping off a plaster and it gets stuck on the last bit. He had never been good at ripping off plasters in one go.  
This half brokenness had something so hopeful.  
Confessing was something so definite.  
And he’d rather break his own heart by keeping quiet, than give that control to Jinyoung by confessing.

 

He somehow got the rest of their training over with and tried his best not to look at Jinyoung too much and not to throw stuff in his face again.  
He succeeded at the stuff throwing part, but ended up looking at him as much as he always did.  
  
The way Jinyoung sat on Jackson’s shoulders for a game and the way he was so embarrassed about it that he blushed.  
And Mark tried to ignore the stinging itch of jealousy and the impulse to murder Jackson in that moment, but it was okay. It was the best thing in the world to see Jinyoung having fun and letting go a little bit.  
Mark saw it as a privilege to witness him blushing at all.  
 Even though he’d prefer to be the one to cause it in every way possible.  
  
When they were back at the dorm, everyone was in their rooms and Mark spent his evening playing silly games on his phone and an hour gaming with Youngjae and when he planned to go to sleep he quickly rushed to the kitchen to get a glass of water, when he saw that the TV was on.  
  
“Mark?” Jinyoung’s voice said, half whispering, “Is that you?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
Mark’s heart nearly skipped a beat. He took the glass of water and stood in the kitchen for a moment, wondering what he should do.  
  
“Do you…wanna sit with me for a bit?”  
Mark nearly let the glass fall. He tightened his grip around it.  
  
“Sure,” he brought out and slowly walked over to the couch, trying not to look too excited.  
He sat down on Jinyoung’s side and was painfully aware of how alone they were. Of how ‘just the two of us’ they were.  
  
“What are you watching?” Mark asked.  
  
“don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention,” Jinyoung shrugged his shoulders, “you can go to bed if you want to.”  
  
“No,” Mark said too quickly, “ I mean…no, I’m not that tired.”  
  
I would stay up with you even if I hadn’t slept in three days.  
 I would stay up with you forever if you asked me to.  
Bright red letters.  
On his face.  
  
Jinyoung chuckled quietly and readjusted on the couch and Mark couldn’t help but notice how their knees brushed.  
  
“I just remembered something,“ Jinyoung whispered.  
There was no need to whisper. It wasn’t like the others would wake up by simple talking. All it did was make Mark unnecessarily excited and let his heart flutter like the wings of a hummingbird.  
  
“Remember when we used to watch horror movies during trainee days?”  
  
“Yeah,” Mark said and couldn’t help the fond smile on his face, “You hated them.”  
  
“Was it so obvious?”  
  
“Kinda.”

He remembered the way Jinyoung used to grab his arm during jump scares and he remembered the way he made fun of the actors, but it hadn’t been hard to tell that he just tried to hide how scared he was.  
Mark also remembered how he tried to ignore the urge to wrap his arms around Jinyoung to protect him from every single jump scare that could come their way.  
Even back then.  
  
“I still hate them. What’s the point in getting nightmares?”  
  
“It’s not about getting nightmares,” Mark said, “it’s just exciting to have your heart race.”  
  
“You don’t need horror movies for that,” Jinyoung said and Mark’s heart immediately supported that theory by pumping faster.  
Why did he always have to say things like that?  
  
“I… uhm, I think I should go to sleep now,” Jinyoung added. And there it was.  
A rosy blush blooming on his cheeks and Mark knew it wasn’t his creation, but that didn’t matter, because it looked so perfect.  
In the dark.  
Only the lights of the TV drawing patterns on his face. And he wanted to tell him to sit with him a little longer, but he didn’t get a word out.  
And Jinyoung still sat there and for a moment he looked at Mark as if he had read his thoughts, but then he stood up and said good night.  
  
Mark watched him go to his room and close the door behind him. Then he let go of the breath he had been holding and sank back into the couch.  
He really started to understand why this feeling was called a crush.

 

 **  
WEDNESDAY**  
  
When Mark woke up, his stomach felt like pudding, his intestines felt like goo and the second he opened his eyes and thought of Jinyoung a big silly smile took over his face.

“What’s there to grin about?” a sleepy voice startled him.  
It was Youngjae who stood at the window and opened the curtains to let in some sunlight. He was still in his pajamas and looked over to Mark with heavy eyelids. Then he yawned long and with relish.  
  
“Nothing,” Mark mumbled.  
Youngjae looked at him with a raised eyebrow and when he wanted to go to the door he nearly tripped over a white bundle of fluff on the floor.  
Coco had her own little dog-bed in the living room, but lately Mark had let her into their room and she was still soundly asleep now.  
  
“Did you talk to him yesterday?” Youngjae asked, “you guys were the last ones awake.”

Mark sat up and tried not to grin like a fool again.  
  
“No,” he mumbled, “he just talked about old times.”  
  
Youngjae let his tongue click in disappointment, but then he showed Mark a bright smile.  
  
“Let’s eat breakfast!”  
  
-

Jinyoung had been the last one to wake up and Mark couldn’t help but miss him all morning, but when they were on their way to the company he sat next to him in the van.  
Way too close.  
His shoulder pressing warmly against Mark’s and his breathing still calm and even.  
Jinyoung looked adorable when he was this sleepy. He hadn’t bothered to comb his hair or put on makeup and Mark’s heart was cheering at every little strand of hair that stood in a different direction like a rebel. Jinyoung was munching on a piece of toast and had his earphones in. He could barely keep his eyes open even though it was already midday.  
  
Yugyeom was the only one that was talking. Mark assumed it was the usual summary of what happened in his favorite drama series the evening before.  
He sat in front of Mark and had his tablet in his hand, reading critical comments about the show and commenting his own opinions.  
Jackson hummed now and then and Jaebum asked one or two questions and even though none of them really watched that show, they liked seeing Yugyeom in his element.

“Some people say his acting was too weak, but I don’t think so,” he blabbered, “The character was written poorly this episode, he was so out of character. What I did like though was Cho Ji U’s acting! That scene where she just leaves him standing was really amazing…”

Mark looked over to Jinyoung; just a quick glance. Not that he had control over it.  
And he caught Jinyoung looking at Yugyeom with all the love in the world. Even though he was so tired that he forgot to chew his toast for a moment, it looked like waterfalls of love were streaming out of his every pore.  
And Mark wondered if Jinyoung had ever looked at him that way when he didn’t notice.  
The thought alone made his tummy tingle.  
  
“Wanna share?” Jinyoung said out of nowhere and Mark turned his head a little too quickly.  
He was holding one of his earphones to him and looked at him with a little smile.  
Mark nodded and took the headphones, brushing Jinyoung’s fingers in the process.  
It was their thing, sharing earphones, and it was the best thing in the whole wide world. They listened to the Arctic Monkeys and Mark wished they’d drive like this for hours.  
 In this peaceful car with all of his best friends and with this breathtaking boy on his left and the music that made the butterflies dance in his stomach.  
  
The songs they listened to screamed unrequited love and longing and everything else that's been stirring up Mark’s head for months. He nearly felt like the lyrics were mocking him personally, while he listened to them through the same earphones as Jinyoung.  
  
And just when ‘I wanna be yours’ started playing they had to get off the car.  
  
-

The games that day were all about competition.  
The first thing they did when they were back in their little circle in the practice room was drawing notes from a little cup.  
When Mark looked at his note, it said B.  
He looked around. Yugyeom had a B, too, and Jackson.  
And.  
Jinyoung.  
So they all were a team. And Youngjae, Jaebum and Bambam were the other team.  
Mark was excited to have Jinyoung in his team and he felt it in his whole body.  
It would’ve been calmer and easier to have him in the opposite team, but that day he wanted him close, no matter how much control he’d need over his facial expressions.  
He had started to miss Jinyoung the moment they left the car and he didn’t feel his warmth anymore.  
  
They gathered together and Jaebum had the stack of papers in his hands again.  
  
“So, this says…,” he read through the paper quickly, “we’ll have to build a tower using ten pieces of paper.”  
Jackson mumbled something sarcastic, but Mark didn’t quite listen. He took the papers Jaebum gave them and they gathered together.  
  
“Uhm,” Jaebum continued, “we’ll have 3 minutes to build the towers and the team that can go higher wins. Glue or sticky tape isn’t allowed.”  
  
They sat down in two little groups and Mark smiled at Jinyoung awkwardly when that one looked his way.  
“Let’s win this,” Jinyoung said, but it didn’t sound very convincing.  
  
“Youngjae, you take care of the time,” Jaebum nodded to Youngjae and gave him his phone.  
  
Then it started.  
Mark just concentrated on his little group.  
Yugyeom was already crafting with the first paper and Jackson, too.  
  
“I have a plan,” Jinyoung announced, whispering, “We need to roll them up and staple them.”  
They looked at him for a moment, and then Jackson broke the silence.  
  
“Oh and how are we gonna fix them?”

“Uhm,” Jinyoung fumbled with the paper in his hand, “I don’t know…”  
  
“Amazing plan, Hyung,” Yugyeom said and there wasn’t any sign of the love from earlier in the car left when Jinyoung glared at the boy. His eyes said murder and he acted like he wasn’t embarrassed that his idea failed.  
Then Mark dared to talk.  
  
“No, Jinyoung’s plan is good,” he said, “let’s rip them at one side to stick them together.”  
  
Jinyoung was beaming. Then he looked at Jackson with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“See?” he said, “Mark Hyung gets it!”  
  
Mark wasn’t sure what happened the rest of their three minutes, because he could only hear his pulse in every inch of his body and only see Jinyoung’s fingers roll up the papers and stick them together.  
They didn’t win. Far from it.  
He wasn’t even sure if their plan was any good after all, but Jinyoung and Mark had worked together and that was all that mattered.

“Good job, Hyung,” Jinyoung smiled and patted him on the shoulder.  
Jackson rolled his eyes and mumbled something about “neither of you contributed anything useful”, but Mark didn’t listen.  
He couldn’t think of anything smart to say, so he just nodded.  
“You too, Jinyoungie.”  
  
But his mind screamed, I WOULD DIE FOR YOU.  
So loud that Mark wondered how it didn’t startle all seven of them. He just hoped Jinyoung couldn’t read minds very well.  
He would have had to leave the country and change his name if he could.

  
-  
  
The day wasn’t over for them when they were done with teamwork training. Youngjae and Jaebum met up with a songwriter to work on one of their songs and Yugyeom had to practice for a solo dance performance that he was incredibly excited over. Bambam was busy cheering him on and trying to copy one or two of his dance steps.  
  
So Youngjae, Jinyoung and Mark sat in the artists lounge and they had sent Jackson to buy some coffee for all of them.  
  
“You know, the song I told you about,” Jinyoung broke the silence and Youngjae looked up from his phone. Mark was already looking at Jinyoung anyway.  
“I want you to do the intro, Hyung,” Jinyoung said. There was a hint of insecurity in his voice again. He could be so unsure about sharing his work with the boys.  
Youngjae looked at the two of them with his ‘here we go again’-look but Mark successfully blinded him out.

“Are you sure?” Mark said and he smiled awkwardly at Jinyoung. That one nodded.  
  
“First I wanted to give it to Jackson, but he wants the rap-part instead,” he explained, “Is that okay?”  
  
“Oh,” Mark hummed, “sure.”  
  
He felt the disappointment whirl in his stomach like a rotten meal.  
  
“Uhm,” Jinyoung said, “Do you wanna hear how it goes or…?”  
  
“Yeah okay.”  
  
  
Jinyoung turned around and started searching his bag for a little booklet and Mark recognized it as his lyrics notebook. Jinyoung told him that he also wrote poems now and then and Mark thought about it a lot. He had come to the conclusion that he’d gladly chop off at least one finger to get to read one of them.  
  
Jinyoung showed him a page and he didn’t need to tell Mark to not turn the page. It was private; he understood that.  
His butterflies were conflicted when he read the intro. It was beautiful, but he couldn’t stop thinking that it belonged to Jackson. That Jinyoung wrote it for Jackson.  
  
“They’re good,” Mark brought out. “Really good. Do I speak them or rap them or…”  
  
“I thought you could say them in that voice of yours,” Jinyoung said, looking at Youngjae for a second, ”You know, all sexy...”  
  
“Oh,” Mark looked at Jinyoung and again he felt his voice in all of his bones. This was torture. Sitting next to him, holding this booklet of secrets in his hand, hearing him say shit like that.  
  
“I’ll try,” he tried to laugh it off, but he felt their curious eyes on him.  
  
“I, uh, I want you” he looked at Jinyoung and his sight got a little blurry from all the heat in his head,  
”I want you…to find me…and…save me”  
  
Mark looked down onto the paper and his fingers were shaking just a little bit and he waited for an answer or laughter or anything really, but they kept quiet.  
Until Youngjae finally broke the silence.  
  
“Well I sure got goose bumps,” he grinned at Mark and he smiled back awkwardly, “how about you, Jinyoung Hyung?”  
  
“Shit,” Jinyoung breathed out, “I mean… uhm, yeah, it was good. Just like I imagined it.”  
Mark watched him biting his lips and it nearly drove him crazy, so he looked down again and then Jinyoung gently took the booklet out of his hands.  
That was the moment they heard someone come up the stairs and Jackson’s voice from afar,  
  
“Yaah guys, they have a new flavor…”  
  
  
**THURSDAY**

 **  
** Mark could not handle this.  
Yes, he had thought he could.  
Yes, the half brokenness of his heart had something hopeful.  
But no, he could not go on like this any longer.  
  
It was Thursday morning and he had accidentally poured coffee into his cornflakes instead of milk and that was the moment he knew Youngjae was right.  
Having a crush was only fun for so long.  
This wasn’t cute anymore; he just turned into an idiot whenever Jinyoung was near and it didn’t quite help that he lived with him and worked with him every single day of the week.  
He had to do something. But he still didn’t know what to do or how or when…  
Confessing always looked so easy in movies, but then again, none of the crushes in movies were like Jinyoung.  
  
To Mark they seemed to be boring drops of water while Jinyoung was the whole ocean. And Mark felt like he might drown if he dared to take a step towards it.  
But he also would probably explode if he didn’t try.  
He wanted to tell Jinyoung that he wasn’t an idiot after all- that he was just really hopelessly in love with him and that it was his fault that he ate cereal with coffee that morning, just because he didn’t want anyone to realize his mistake. He played it cool, so nobody noticed how brown his milk was getting and how he screwed up his face with every spoonful he ate.  
  
Maybe blaming Jinyoung was a way to do it.  
Maybe he should just confidently walk up to him and tell him “Yah, it’s your fault that there’s a whole generation of butterflies settling inside of me” or “I never cared for the Arctic Monkeys and now I know all of their songs, what’s up with that shit?” or even “Aren’t you ashamed that you keep me up at night by simply existing… with your plump lips and your gentle eyes and your voice that goes right into my bones-”  
Snap  
out  
of  
it  
Mark!

  
  
He tried so hard to snap out of it, while he was sitting on the floor in the practice room and watched Jinyoung and Yugyeom go through the choreography of their new title track.  
The way he moved should be illegal.  
Mark was a simple man; he didn’t have the strength to look away when Jinyoung was a few steps away from him, moving like that. And the grumpy little pout he made when he messed up a step or the smile exploding on his face whenever he didn’t.  
Jinyoung concentrated so much when he was dancing and Mark’s eyes were glued to his every move.  
He wore one of his sweatpants that looked like jeans from afar and a shirt that exposed his arms and Mark honestly hoped nobody would ask him a question right now because Jinyoung woukd be the only answer he could give.  
  
When Mark thought he couldn’t be tortured more than this, the teamwork training started.  
Out of all the possible games they could play to strengthen their teamwork, their manager seemed to have saved the most awkward ones for that day.  
The topic was ‘intimacy’, but they could’ve as well called it ‘ways to nearly kiss people on the mouth and create unnecessary awkward tension’.

So they sat in a circle again and Bambam and Yugyeom were blindfolded. They were supposed to guess an object just by feeling it with their faces.  
But the two of them just kept laughing hysterically and whenever Bambam told Yugyeom to concentrate and stay still, the youngest just laughed even harder.  
Mark giggled along; it just looked ridiculous and the object wasn’t hard to guess either.  
It was a small box of tissues that had literally sat right beside them for minutes before, but the two of them were busy pinching each other in the side and desperately trying to stop laughing.  
  
Next it was Jackson and Jaebum, which was a lethal combination as well, because Jackson always used the opportunity to annoy their leader a bit.  
“I’m just saying that I think you’ll guess it before me, because you’re so smart, Hyung,” he cooed, “but no pressure.”  
  
Jaebum ignored him skillfully and pressed his cheek into the hairbrush that was held up between their faces.  
  
“Urgh what the fuck is that?” Jaebum mumbled.  
Jackson gasped dramatically.  
  
“Watch your language, Hyung.”  
After Jackson nearly gave Jaebum a bloody nose by how hard he moved forward, their two minutes were over and they took off their blindfolds.  
  
“It’s bad luck to play with him,” Jackson whispered too loudly. “Jaebum is born to lose.”  
  
“Yah Jackson,” Jaebum glared at him, “I heard that.”  
  
“Sorry, I meant Jaebum ~Hyung~ is born to lose.”

 

Only Mark, Jinyoung and Youngjae were left.  
Mark and Youngjae were paired together, but the moment Jaebum said his name, Youngjae started whining.  
“Can I go to the bathroom quickly” he held his stomach, “I think my burrito was bad.”  
  
Before Jaebum was able to say anything, Youngjae fled out of the room and left Jinyoung and Mark sitting there, looking at each other quietly.  
  
“When the fuck did he have a burrito?” Jaebum asked, but nobody answered.  
  
So it happened that Mark sat there with Jinyoung, both blindfolded and his hands getting sweaty.  
  
“You ready?” Jackson asked and they both hummed.  
  
Then there was a hand and a fluffy little object pressed against Mark’s cheek.    
The object was tiny and Jinyoung was so close that Mark could smell his perfume.  
He tried not to breathe out or in and basically held still, trying to clear his head, but unable to.  
All that was in it was Jinyoung Jinyoung Jinyoung.  
  
“It’s not alive, is it?” Jinyoung wanted to know. And his voice vibrated so close to Mark, it sent shivers down his spine.  
He shuffled around on the floor.

“Who knows,” Jackson said and you could hear the grin in his voice.  
  
Jinyoung’s face shifted a little and then his cheek brushed Mark’s and he pulled away without thinking.  
  
“Ah!!!” Jackson yelled. “It fell down! You’re out.”  
  
Mark could hear Jinyoung groan in protest and Yugyeom and Bambam laughed loudly when he took his blindfolds off.  
  
“Sorry Jinyoungie,” he  brought out, but Jinyoung just smiled at him with slightly pink cheeks.  
  
“It’s okay.”  
  
  
The game after that was the infamous paper kiss game.  
Standing in a row they had to let a piece of paper wander from the first to the last person by passing it on with their mouths.  
Mark was on last place, Jinyoung on second. So he could breathe and calm down a little.  
The paper didn’t really come far anyway. It kept getting stuck between Jackson and Jinyoung at the very start of the row.  
Mark stood there and watched them and he should’ve been glad that the paper never even reached him, but he couldn’t ignore the seething in his stomach while he watched the two of them.  
  
“What are you doing, Jackson?” Jinyoung chuckled, “don’t move so much!”  
  
“You’re the one who’s moving,” Jackson argued, “stand still or I’m gonna kiss you for real.”  
  
“Then I’m seriously gonna kill you!”  
  
Jinyoung had Jackson’s face in his hands and pressed forwards to get the paper with his lips, but Jackson slightly pulled away.  
And the damn paper fell, but Jinyoung wasn’t fast enough to pull away and Mark wasn’t fast enough to look away, as their lips awkwardly brushed against each other.  
He watched Jinyoung explode in laughter and Jackson screech a high pitched “Ahhh heart attaccckkkk”.

Mark just wanted to get home and pull his blanket over his head and never get out of there again. He also wished Jinyoung would actually go through with his threat and kill Jackson instead of laughing like this.  All eye-wrinkles and hand over mouth, like he did whenever he couldn’t control his joy anymore.  
Mark had never not wanted to see this laugh, but right now he wished he didn’t have to.

“So when’s the marriage?” he heard Yugyeom say and he felt like he couldn’t move.

Having crushes might be cute in movies, but in reality it's just really ugly and cruel.

Mark thanked the universe when they finally had their break.  
He couldn’t have stayed there a single moment longer, watching Jackson and Jinyoung being grossly awkward and flirty with each other. He knew it was all just a show, but it was a show he never bought tickets for and therefore didn’t want to watch.  
  
He went to the artists lounge to make himself a cup of tea and Youngjae followed him.  
  
“Hyung, you look like you’re on a murder spree,” he said worried.  
  
“I’m not,” Mark grumbled, “I’m making tea.”

Youngjae watched as he poured the hot water in his mug and sighed.  
  
“I’m gonna tell him,” Mark huffed and burned himself on the kettle, cursing out loud.  
  
“Yes!” Youngjae exclaimed and half hugged him from the side. Mark struggled not to spill his tea.  
  
“Then I’m probably gonna murder Jackson and leave the country,” he added under his breath.  
  
Youngjae laughed and pulled him even closer.  
  
“Don’t do that,” he chuckled, “he’s part of our band.”  
  
“Who’s part of our band?” Another voice asked and made Youngjae jump away from Mark.  
Jinyoung stood in the door frame and looked at the two of them carefully; a foreign expression on his face.  
  
“Nobody,” Mark said quickly. “Want some tea?”

-  
  
They played a few smaller games that went over without any big embarrassments, but then there was the pepero game, the king of awkward team games.  
The quest was for two people to eat a pocky stick from both sides, making it as small as possible. If possible without kissing.  
  
And this time Youngjae outdid himself in finding ways to make Jinyoung and Mark end up together. Mark looked at him with panic in his stomach when he convinced Jaebum to do it with him instead of Jinyoung and so they ended up together.  
Bambam and Yugyeom were a good team if they concentrated.  
They did not. They played and shuffled around and ended up breaking their pepero stick before they even started, disqualifying themselves immediately.

Jackson whined the whole time because he wanted to do it with Jaebum, but ended up doing it with Bambam. They didn’t do very well either.  
  
Youngjae and Jaebum held the record, as Jaebum held Youngjae’s face steadily between his hands and moved closer slowly and with way too much confidence. Mark imagined seeing Youngjae blush when they showed off their result.  
Interesting.  
  
Then it was their turn.  
Jinyoung and Mark sat in front of each other with crossed legs, a pepero in Jinyoung’s hand, an unsure expression on his face.  
  
“Is this okay?” he asked and Mark’s stomach felt weird. The other boys watched them in silence and he just nodded. Why wouldn’t it be okay? Apart from the fact that he’d combust any moment.  
  
“Let’s talk tonight,” Jinyoung mumbled, so quietly that only Mark seemed to understand his words. He nodded, his heart racing.

Then Jinyoung smiled a soft smile and put the pepero between his teeth. And with a nod that said ‘I won’t bite’ he got closer.  
Mark had trouble getting the stick in his mouth at first but then he felt Jinyoung’s hands steadying his shoulders and weirdly enough he got calmer.  
Jinyoung moved forward slowly, taking little bites and glancing down between them to watch the progress.  
  
Mark wasn’t able to do much; he just tried to keep from blushing too hard and from detonating into stardust.  
Again he could smell Jinyoung’s perfume and his shampoo and when he felt his breath on his lips his heart started rebelling again.  
He forgot about the other boys watching them and he ignored the sweet taste of chocolate in his mouth and he didn’t think of murdering Jackson or fleeing the country.  
He just wanted to finally put his lips on Jinyoung’s and find out how he tasted and lose the game and lose his mind, too.  
  
But he didn’t.  
Because in the very last moment, their lips just millimeters away, Jinyoung pulled back and held up the little bit of the stick that they had left over.  
He grinned proudly and his cheeks were burning in a fading red, his eyes looking a little hazy.  
  
“Looks like we have new winners,” Jaebum sighed and Mark saw Youngjae grinning at him broadly.

“Jeez gross,” Bambam said, “Take a room next time.”  
  
Jinyoung just hit his shoulder to silence him.

Mark’s brain was a little puddle of goo and forming thoughts was overrated anyway.  
  
The rest of the day he spent in a hazy after pepero-bliss and nothing could get him out of that state.

 

 

That also meant he had forgotten about “let’s talk tonight”, when tonight was finally there.

So he nearly fell from his bed when he got a message at 8pm. From Jinyoung.  
With just four words

  
>come to my room?<

 

How could he have forgotten?

Mark sat up so fast that he felt dizzy and Youngjae watched him with a bit of worry while he grabbed a jumper and sorted out his bed-hair, before taking a few deep breathes.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Youngjae wanted to know.  
  
“Jinyoung wants to talk,” he said, the words barely more than a whisper.  
  
“Oh, good luck, Hyung.” Then he smiled. “You can do it.”  
  
“Yeah thanks, we’ll see about thiat.”

  
He walked over to the maknaes’ room and ignored their curious faces when he went straight to Jinyoung’s door. He stood there just a moment too long, before he finally knocked. But it didn’t matter, because if Youngjae was right, they already knew. If Youngjae was right, they all knew and Jinyoung knew and he probably just wanted to finally give him the rejection he deserved.  
  
“Just come in, Hyung,”  
He took another deep breath and opened the door.

Jinyoung sat there on his bed in black sweatpants and a striped shirt with long sleeves, smiling up to Mark sheepishly.  
  
“I’m sorry. I fell asleep,” Mark mumbled and closed the door.  
  
“It’s okay,” Jinyoung said, “do you want candy? I have candy.”  
  
Mark just shook his head no. His stomach couldn’t deal with candy right now.  
  
“Can I ask you something?” Jinyoung said and put a red gummy bear in his mouth.  
  
“I guess.”  
  
“Do the others tease you, too?” Jinyoung mumbled, “About how awkward we are?”  
  
“We’re not that awkward,” Mark said, but he didn’t even believe himself.  Jinyoung looked at him with a raised eyebrow and then they both started laughing. Mark’s heart calmed down a little, as he sat down on Jinyoung’s bed and pulled one of his pillows into his lap to have something to hold onto.  
  
“Even now we’re awkward,” he chuckled.  
  
“Jinyoung,” Mark heard himself say. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, wasn’t sure how, but he knew he had to get it over with now. “You don’t hate me, right?”  
  
“Why would I hate you?”  
  
“Just promise that you won’t hate me.”

“I could never hate-“  
  
“I think I’m in love with you,” Mark brought out and nearly choked on the words. They felt even scarier now that they were floating in the room and the silence just made them heavier with the second.  
  
“You’re not making fun of me?” Jinyoung whispered and Mark huffed. He just managed to shake his head no.  
  
“And I thought you were mad at me!” Jinyoung exclaimed and Mark didn’t know what was happening when he suddenly felt Jinyoung’s arms wrapped around him from the side. He was so warm and Mark’s heart was so damn weak. He melted into his arms a little; couldn’t help it. Even though he didn’t understand a single thing.  
  
He let Jinyoung cuddle him and he didn’t protest when he made them both fall back on his bed until they lay there in silence.  
  
“Did you know?” Mark managed to get out.  
  
“I don’t know,” Jinyoung said, nuzzling his head closer to Mark, his hand on Mark’s waist. They lay there for a moment, looking at each other. “I thought I was just imagining things because I wanted them to be true.”  
  
He wanted them to be true. Mark wanted to scream into the universe. Wanted to become one with the universe. He stared at Jinyoung and saw the most beautiful blush on his cheeks and for the first time he was 100% sure that it was there because of him and only him.  
  
“Can I-“ Mark’s voice didn’t cooperate, his heart was about to spring out of his body.  
  
“Go on, you fool.”  
  
Before he knew it, he was kissing Jinyoung. Really, truly kissing him. No pepero stick, no stupid team work game, no accident.  
Just kissing him in Jinyoung’s little room in his comfortable bed with too many cushions and Jinyoung’s hand lying on his waist, their legs tangled.

And his lips were so soft, so careful, and so curious in a way.  He tasted like the strawberry candy he’d been eating and Mark swore his heart vibrated.  
The way Jinyoung tugged on his lips and the little noises they made were so breathtaking, but somehow Mark managed to pull him even closer, made them roll around until Jinyoung was awkwardly sitting on him, smiling down on him shyly.  
  
Before he could say anything, Jinyoung had leant down over him again and kissed him more eagerly, daring to lick into his mouth a little, daring to let Mark do the same.  
  
Then Jinyoung suddenly pulled away and bit his lip while mustering Mark, who lay there completely overwhelmed.  
“So there’s nothing going on between you and Youngjae?”  
  
Mark looked at him and then he started laughing. He couldn’t help it. He pulled Jinyoung down onto the bed again and hugged him with his whole body, his long limps around him, his head buried in the nape of Jinyoung’s neck.  
  
“Me and Youngjae,” he chuckled, “did you really think that?”  
  
“Don’t make fun of me, Hyung,” Jinyoung argued, “you two are basically joint at the hip…”  
  
“That’s because someone has to tell me how to deal with you,” he said, planting little kisses on Jinyoung’s neck.  
  
“Oh,” Jinyoung breathed, but he seemed to lose his concentration. “Hyung…?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Stay here with me tonight.”  
  
Mark’s breath hitched and he looked at Jinyoung.  
  
“Because of Youngjae?”  
  
“No,” Jinyoung smiled, “Because of me.”  
  
As if Mark could ever turn down an invitation like this.  
  
He didn’t know how long they lay there just kissing and talking and eating candy and cuddling the night away, but it was late when they fell asleep, hands intertwined, Jinyoung’s head nuzzled against Mark’s chest and their hearts beating in unison.

 

**FRIDAY**

Mark got woken up by the message sound of his phone.  
He still had his eyes closed when his hand blindly searched for it and it took him a few moments to find it somewhere under the blanket.  
Only when he opened the eyes he saw that he wasn’t in his room.  
He was in Jinyoung’s room. And in his bed, too.  
  
And before he could loot at his phone, he looked to his side and there was Jinyoung, still asleep, his black hair ruffled up and the blanket hanging somewhere around his waist.  
His breathing still calm and steady.  
Mark couldn’t take his eyes off him and his heart was racing and racing and he couldn’t believe it. Then the memories came streaming in. His clumsy confession and how jinyoung actually really kissed him back.  
They had spent half the night kissing and cuddling and talking about random things and a bit more kissing.  
  
He didn’t stop himself from grinning. He wanted this moment to last forever, but then another message sound tore him out of his daze.  
Two messages from Youngjae.  
  
> I’m assuming it went well?  
You’re gonna tell me everything, right?  
Are you moving out of our room now?<  
  
and the second one.  
  
>and you might wanna get out of bed  
the boys are already awake  
Jaebum will kick both of your asses if you’re sleeping in<

And just when Mark was about to text back, another message came in.  
  
>I’m proud of you hyung ♥<

Mark answered a short >Thank you< and then  he put the phone aside, took a deep breath and gently pat Jinyoung’s back.  
  
“Wake up, Jinyoungie,” he said quietly and watched Jinyoung wriggling around a little, half awake.  
  
“Mmmhh?” he grumbled.

“It’s 9am,” Mark smiled, “let’s get breakfast.”  
  
That’s when Jinyoung opened his eyes and looked around in confusion for a moment. Then he turned around and faced Mark.  
And he could watch the most beautiful blush taking over his face.  
  
“Hyung,” he brought out with a raspy voice, “you’re here.”  
  
Mark’s heart skipped a beat.   
  
“Yeah,” He smiled.  
But before he could say anything else, Jinyoung had pulled him down by his shirt and onto himself and he wrapped his arms around him so tightly that he nearly couldn’t breathe.  
Who needs air anyway?  
  
Their bodies were so warm and heavy and Jinyoung buried his face in the nape of Mark’s neck and he wanted to scream.  
Who needs breakfast anyway?  
  
“Five more minutes?” Mark asked and he could feel Jinyoung’s chuckle on his skin. He nodded and started kissing Mark's neck softly. Still half asleep.

The rest would figure itself out.  
It always did when they were together.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if this made you cringe or if it was boring.... fluff isn't my forte but I tried D:


End file.
